


Sticks And Stones

by queenfanfiction



Series: fakenews_fanfic open thread fills [2]
Category: Fake News FPF
Genre: FNFF OT, M/M, comment!fic, prompt!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-09-16
Updated: 2010-09-16
Packaged: 2017-10-11 21:52:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/117506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenfanfiction/pseuds/queenfanfiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The new Team Jesus/Team Mohammed segments require...a little something extra from the correspondents.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sticks And Stones

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the OpenThread at LJ's fakenews_fanfic. Inspired by phonemonkey's request for more Wyatt/Aasif fic and based on Prompt 24 from LJ's un_love_you: "I want you to hate me."

"Darky."

"Paki."

"You idiot, I'm from India!"

This is always how it starts, their preparation for the new Team Jesus/Team Mohammed segments. They lock themselves in one of their dressing rooms, silence their cell phones, and proceed to insult the hell out of each other.

"Don't call me stupid, stupid!"

"Oh, is this how it's going to go? You're going to use what I say, huh? I heard Christians were dumb, I just didn't know how true it was until I met you!"

They tell Jon it keeps them on their toes, gets them riled up enough before the actual show. But they never tell him what usually transpires at the end of it.

"I _said._ Don't call me. Stupid. STUPID."

"Yeah? Make me, Jesus-boy! My abs are bigger than anything of yours!"

Wyatt tackles Aasif out of his chair, Aasif goes for Wyatt's throat, and before they know it they're rolling on the floor like ten-year-old boys. But then Wyatt starts grinding against Aasif's hips, Aasif starts to kiss him, and soon they both start to claw at each other's T-shirts, desperate to feel more skin under their fingers.

"Make-up's going to kill us," Wyatt gasps as he comes up for air. Aasif's response is to grab Wyatt by the tie and pull Wyatt back down.

Fifteen minutes later, they unlock the dressing room door and open it to find Jon waiting for them on the other side. Jon merely raises an eyebrow at their disheveled states: Wyatt's tie is snagged and loosely hanging off to one side, while Aasif's wiry hair is miraculously standing upright in some places.

"So," Jon says slowly. "Productive session?"

Wyatt and Aasif fervently nod, both of them moving their hands behind their backs and crossing their fingers. "Oh, _yeah._ "


End file.
